I went through a really bad eating disorder called pseudodysphagia that started when I was 15. its a rare eating disorder that is characterized by an inability to swallow food because of constant tight throat muscles caused by anxiety. This eating disorder made me lose 20 pounds which made me underweight. I also started puberty at 11 years old.
I could only eat breakfast and would eat only eat yogurt and pudding for the rest of the day or milk and juice and sometimes eat a second meal after taking a nap .
Looking back I realized how little calories I’ve been getting and I didn’t realize the importance of calories I just thought if I was getting food down then I’m fine. I was neglected by parents and was told I was lying about my ED so I didn’t have anyone to guide me or at least give me milkshakes with enough calories. i was also really active as I had a job that required me to walk a lot so I was walking like 10,000 steps a day without getting adequate nutrition.
Now that I’m in my early 20’s and completely recovered from this ED after getting help, can I reverse the harmful effects or is it too late? If I start eating enough calories and eating nutrient dense foods can I save my body? I’ve been getting my period normally every month but I read that basically my brain, body, organs, and skin is fucked if someone went through a childhood ED. The article was about models who barley got their period and I know my malnutrition was probably not as bad as theirs. But how do I know if mine is that bad? I have health anxiety and I also wanna have hope that I didn’t ruin my body somehow and can get back on track.